


Growing Pains

by callmecaramleh



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family, Fluff, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmecaramleh/pseuds/callmecaramleh
Summary: Sokka brings Zuko home to re-meet his dad.





	1. Chapter 1

Zuko hated the cold. He couldn’t control violent shivers, his fingernails would often turn a little blue, and he absolutely hated that soggy, snow seeped feeling. In a normal cold climate he could use his inner fire to keep himself warm, but at the poles the biting wind made it hard to find his bending, like trying to move with sore muscles.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Sokka asked with a snicker, poking at Zuko’s stomach. He was dressed in several cream colored layers, an outfit he hadn’t worn since the North Pole.

“I... I don’t have anything else! The only other things I have that are warm enough are armor or official Firelord robes, and I’m not meeting your father in full regalia.”

“First off, when you met him the first time you were both in prison outfits, so you can only go up from there. However, not only does that outfit remind everyone of when you were evil, but it’s also definitely too small. You can borrow something of mine.”

Zuko wanted to pretend that the sleeves pinching at his armpits weren’t a problem, and that the layers made it so you couldn’t even tell the tunic wasn’t long enough, but wearing one of Sokka’s big fluffy anoraks did seem much more promising against the chill. Plus, if he was lucky, it’d smell like Sokka.

They moved to Sokka’s room on the ship. It wasn’t far from Zuko’s, but it was mandatory for the rooms immediately surrounding his to be that of the Royal Guard. Zuko liked his guards. They managed to stay mostly out of his sight, despite watching him around the clock, and even though they knew just about every embarrassing thing he did, they didn’t spread it around. They did, however, find no qualms with making fun of him to his face. He liked that.

Most of the rooms on the ship were standardly decorated. A bed. Some red tapestries. Candles. Even Zuko’s was mostly the same from everyone else’s, save for a little extra closet space and a few additional chairs. Sokka, however, has insisted on redecorated. Originally he had added all the furs and blues of the Water Tribe, but after two years of being an advisor to Zuko, and therefore traveling with him quite often, Sokka had redesigned the room with trinkets from all over the world.

“Here, try this,” Sokka said, tossing a soft bundle of fabric at Zuko’s face before sitting on the end of the bed. They were roughly the same size, Zuko a little taller, and more slender, but their clothes generally fit each other fine.

Zuko turned away from him and started to change. Their relationship had taken a romantic turn about a year ago, so he was rather used to Sokka seeing him in various stages of undress, but the mundane things, like goodbye kisses, hands brushing when they reached for the same scroll, or just changing in front of Sokka like this, still managed to make Zuko blush.

“Better?” Zuko asked, turning back around once he was fully dressed. It was a bit strange to be wearing so much blue, but he was at least relieved to find that Sokka had something in a more navy shade than the usual ocean colors he wore.

“Much,” Sokka answered, taking Zuko’s hand and pulling him onto the bed next to him, “Are you nervous?”

“Very...” Zuko breathed out. The few other times Zuko had met Hakoda had been in the contexts of politics or breaking out of prison. He had never had to find topics to talk to him about, always keeping it to business, and definitely had never felt the need to prove himself worthy of being romantically involved with his son.

“Well, the good news is he doesn’t actually know you’re my boyfriend yet.”

Zuko groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “You were supposed to write to him weeks ago. Does he even know I’m coming here with you?” Zuko and Sokka’s relationship was still primarily a secret. Katara knew, which meant Aang did too, and they weren’t able to keep it from Toph or Iroh, and Zuko’s guards definitely knew, but other than that they weren’t telling anyone. Being the Firelord, Zuko couldn’t really be seen with a romantic partner unless it was going to last. Relationships were never revealed without engagement, and even then most marriages were more for political reasons than love. Zuko often laid awake at night, anxiously listing reasons why Sokka was a good match not just for himself, but for the Fire Nation.

“Yeah, of course! I just thought... well I thought it’d be better to tell him in person.”

“You’re nervous too?” Zuko asked, slinging his arm around Sokka’s shoulders. Sokka’s relationship with his father, while vastly better than Zuko’s, was not altogether foreign to Zuko. In mostly whispered conversations Sokka had told him about being left behind by the men of the Water Tribe, tasked by his father to protect their village. He was just a kid, and his only hope of feeling worth anything was protecting his people almost single handedly. And then, Sokka told him, some idiot had rammed their ship straight into the village. Protecting the village became protecting the world, and every time he failed he had that nagging feeling that his father would be ashamed of him. That was certainly something Zuko could relate too.

“Yeah... I just... I know he won’t have any problems with us. He knows you’re not evil or anything. I just, I don’t know, I want more than that.” Sokka leaned into Zuko, his forehead dipping into Zuko’s neck. Honestly Zuko would be elated to just be not-a-problem for once, but he understood Sokka’s want of support. When Uncle Iroh had caught on to their relationship Zuko was incredibly nervous that he would point out that it might not be the best match for Zuko as the Firelord, but instead Iroh had just made tea and gone on and on about how it was when he fell in love and how much he liked Sokka. After it was over Zuko couldn’t understand why he had expected anything different.

“Sokka, your father loves you very much, and even if I embarrass myself so much that he doesn’t like me, which is quite probable, he’ll always support you. He trusts your judgement and your heart.”

Sokka seemed to ease up at that, not totally convinced that that was much better, but at least content to snuggle closer to Zuko for the remainder of their time on the ship.

***

Katara greeted them at the dock, practically tackling Sokka as soon as she reached him. They had seen each other less than a month ago when Katara and Aang had stopped by the palace on their way to Ember Island for a brief vacation, but the siblings still acted like it had been an eternity since their last meeting.

“Good to see you Zuko,” Katara said with a smile. They hugged. It was a little uncomfortable. Zuko and Katara liked each other a lot. They wrote unnecessarily long letters to each other, usually just to gossip about Sokka, but they still could be rather awkward in person. “The blue looks good on you.” She was grinning. Teasing.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“He wanted to wear the outfit that he tried to capture Aang in at the North Pole, but I wouldn’t let him,” Sokka said, “Speaking of Aang, where is he?”

“There was a spirit problem a few villages over. He should be back by tomorrow,” Katara answered. Zuko frowned. Having the Avatar on his side would have made him a little bit less stressed about impressing Hakoda.

Katara and Sokka talked local gossip as they walked back to the village. Zuko’s hands were cold even through the thick gloves Sokka had given him. He wanted to just hold Sokka’s hand, but he knew he couldn’t. He was used to having to appear physically neutral towards Sokka in public, but the cold was already getting to his brain, making him want nothing more than to burrow into Sokka’s side, stealing warmth and kisses.

The village was much bigger than it had been when Zuko first attacked it. After the war Sokka had spent a year working with his dad and the Northern Water Tribe to reintroduce trade routes between the tribes. With Sokka’s help, the Southern Water Tribe was quickly becoming a hub of commerce and culture. Sokka had actually been meeting with Zuko as a member of a small party of representatives from the two tribes when he decided to become one of Zuko’s advisors.

“I’m going to stay,” Sokka had said, showing up at Zuko’s door in the middle of the night. Zuko hadn’t offered him a position—would never dream of pressuring Sokka to leave his people—but just the thought had made Zuko happy.

“Oh,” Zuko had said, tired, and not quite understanding, “For how long? Toph is supposed to visit in the next few weeks and—“

“I’m going to stay here forever,” Sokka said, then added sheepishly, “I mean, for a while at least. You... I think you need the help. You don’t seem healthy.”

It was true. That first year Zuko had been living off a few hours of nightmare ridden sleep a night. Some days he would forget to eat, substituting tea for meals. He had no idea what he was doing, but he didn’t have time to think about that or consider asking for help. He didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until Sokka pointed it out to him.

“Mmm, I smell squid,” Sokka said as they approached the large, igloo like structure that was Hakoda’s current home. Zuko was thankful that it didn’t smell like sea prunes. He enjoyed most Water Tribe food fine, no matter how bland it was, but he still couldn’t bring himself to like sea prunes.

Hakoda stood when they entered. He walked over fur rugs, smiling as he hugged Sokka in what looked to be an uncomfortably tight way. Sokka was smiling anyway.

There was another man still sitting by the fire, Zuko noticed. He had burn marks peeking out from one sleeve and under his collar. They made eye contact, and Zuko, unsure what to do just have him a polite nod.

“Firelord Zuko,” Hakoda said, finally relinquishing his grasp on his son. He held out his hand to shake, and Zuko took it. He tried not to look at Sokka, who he knew wouldn’t be happy with just a handshake.

“It’s good to see you again Chief Hakoda.”

Hakoda just nodded, not even bothering to smile. This wasn’t going well. He tried to take a breath without making his panic seem obvious, but Sokka definitely caught on, bumping their shoulders together. Zuko wanted to comfort him, as much as he needed his comfort.

“Bato! It’s good to see you!” Sokka said, perhaps trying to distract Zuko from pestering thoughts, or maybe distracting himself. Sokka took a seat next to the stranger—Bato—before patting the spot beside him for Zuko. Zuko sat, grateful to be close to a fire.

“Zuko, do you remember Bato from when you attacked us at the abbey?” Katara asked.

“Uh, no,” Zuko choked out, mortified.

“I believe I was already gone by that point,” Bato said, smiling, “Though you’ll have to tell me that story later. I have heard the prison break story already. It seemed like a lot of fun.”

“I, uh, suppose you could call it that. Sokka always tells it that way at least, but of course, he got to play the guard.”

“That’s true,” Bato said with a chuckle, “And he got to save people he cared about. You were stuck in there for the sake of strangers.”

“Yeah, well I was kind of working on, uh, saving myself.”

“A noble cause,” Bato replied.

Zuko liked Bato. Hakoda only ever seemed to look at Zuko sternly, if not with suspicion than like a dignitary. He had liked that about Hakoda in the meetings they had had together when other officials tended to see Zuko as a child, but sitting here trying to eat dinner and make Hakoda like him it only served to make him anxious. Bato, on the other hand, was all smiles and laughter. He seemed warm. When the others would get wrapped up in conversations of stories Zuko didn’t understand, Bato would lean behind Sokka’s back and explain things to Zuko. He felt like an ally.

Sokka seemed to catch up on this too. Whenever he noticed Bato and Zuko speaking, he grinned his wide dopey smile. Bato was clearly very important to their family, so maybe it would be enough to have him like Zuko, even if Hakoda didn’t.

At least, that’s what Zuko thought before Hakoda coughed, his face getting even more serious than usual.

“Sokka, Katara,” He said, slowly, carefully, “I have—we have—important news. A few months ago I asked Bato to live with me here. As my partner.”

The room was silent, save the crackling of the fire. Hakoda looked stone cold, but Bato was smiling, nervously. Sokka had that look on his face like he had zoned out, or that things weren’t clicking.

“Congratulations...” It came out of Zuko’s mouth as an accidental whisper. He knew Hakoda had not been talking to him, and that it hardly mattered what he thought. He was anxious, not liking to be in such a tense situation. He wanted to be able to reach over, squeeze Sokka’s hand, let him know that he was there no matter what he was feeling in such a situation. But he couldn’t.

Eventually, Katara just got up and left. She didn’t run or stomp. She just left, her face determined, a little angry, and Zuko thought of the trip that they had taken together when he first joined the gang.

Sokka stood too, giving Zuko a look that was sad, stressed, and maybe a little desperate as he did.

“I’m going to go talk to her...” he said, though Zuko wasn’t quite sure who he was addressing. At the door, Sokka stopped, turned around, and added “I’m happy for you,” but he didn’t sound very happy to Zuko.

Hakoda looked crushed. Bato put a hand on his shoulder, looking equally worried. Zuko didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to look like he was deserting them too. He had no reason to leave and no reason to stay. He wasn’t a part of this family, he didn’t get to have an opinion.

But he wanted to be. Oh Agni he wanted to be welcome in this family.

“Um,” he said, looking only at the fire, “My Uncle, I think you met him. He had a son named Lu Ten. He was older than me, and I always looked up to him. He was very powerful and well spoken and, um, as nice as one can be for a member of the fire nation royal family. But he died...”

Zuko could feel Bato’s eyes on him, and it encouraged him, despite being unsure if he’d ever reach a point with his story.

“Eventually my Uncle took me under his wing. He trained me in fire bending and taught me about the world and embarrassed me in front of people I cared about. I... I could tell he was beginning to become a father figure to me, even though I was still very obsessed about what Ozai thought of me... So um... One day I yelled at him. I did that a lot back then. I told him I didn’t want to be like his son, that it was dishonorable for him to try to replace Lu Ten with me. But he told me, well he told me something about the seasons changing, and I didn’t really get that part because my Uncle likes to talk in riddles, but then he said ‘Now I have two people who are sons to me. One of them is lost, but I am happy to have a heart that grew so that I can love them both.’”

Zuko took a deep breath, and the fire rose and fell with it.

“What I’m trying to say is that, they feel the loss right now, but their hearts will grow.”

“Thank you Zuko,” Hakoda said, “...Do you want some more squid?”

Zuko nodded. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he wasn’t going to deny anything from Hakoda at this point.

“How about that story of the abbey,” Bato suggested, his smile coming out much less forced than before. Zuko blushes, but started the story anyway, beginning when he met June. It was still a little awkward, talking about using Katara’s necklace to track them down and attack, but Hakoda and Bato seemed pleased with the perhaps excessive amount of praising Zuko did for Sokka’s perfume plan and Katara’s bending.

Sokka came back midway through Zuko’s next story about seeing dragons for the first time. Sokka sat down quietly beside him, not wanting to interrupt the tale that Bato and Hakoda were clearly enjoying. They didn’t laugh through it, the way people tended to when Aang told it, but Zuko hoped that was just because of their remaining anxieties rather than his lack of skill conveying the more comedic moments of the trip.

“Zuko and I are going to go to bed,” Sokka said, once the story is finished, “Maybe Katara can tell you the story of hers and Zuko’s fight with Azula in the morning. She said she’d come to breakfast.”

Hakoda and Bato nodded, both adding an “I love you,” as Sokka and Zuko left the room. “Love you too...” Sokka mumbled back, and Zuko hoped that Hakoda had managed to hear it.

“...Won’t they be suspicious that you called me away to come sleep with you?” Zuko asked when they reached Sokka’s room.

“Well you have to sleep somewhere, and I’m going to tell dad—I’m going to tell both of them soon anyway. If that’s ok.” They hadn’t planned on Zuko having another family member to let in on their secret.

“Of course it’s ok,” Zuko said, laying down on plush blankets, scooting closer to Sokka, “...I like Bato.”

“Yeah, he’s great,” Sokka said, though it didn’t sound quite natural, “He’s always been like family to us. But still... I just...”

Sokka rolled over, burying his face into Zuko’s chest. Zuko wrapped his arms tight around him, using one hand to stroke gently at his hair. They didn’t do this very often, the cuddling and sleeping together. Their sleep schedules were vastly different because of Firelord schedules and rising with the sun and all that. They mostly only shared a bed when they could both spare a day off. Still, this seemed different than the times before. This was something Sokka needed.

“I know. You’re mother will never go away,” Zuko said, trying to sound reassuring and not like he was very unsure of what would help.

“Dad never talks about her,” Sokka finally said, “He never has. She died and then... then he just... he got tied up in the war. He didn’t have time to talk about her with us. I know, logically, that there’s a million explanations for that could be, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting. Doesn’t stop me from sometimes thinking that he didn’t care, no matter how much I know that he did.”

Zuko thought maybe Sokka was crying. He was using his stoic voice, the one that was soft yet determined, but it was wavering every few words. Zuko kissed the top of his head, pleading with his brain for he right words.

“Sokka... you look at the moon a lot. I know... I know we’ve only barely talked about this, I know I don’t know the whole story. But you look at the moon a lot.”

“Zuko—“

“I just mean, right, ok, I know I’m not your first big all encompassing love. And I don’t know this because you told me, because you only barely did. I know this because you look at the moon a lot. So... even though you don’t like to talk about it, I know of the love you had—love you have from something else. Your father must have things like looking at the moon... And even though you look at me too now, you still look at the moon. People are capable of more than one great love.”

It was quiet for some time after that. Zuko could feel Sokka’s breathing steadying into his.

“My mom had this lotion,” Sokka finally said. Zuko had almost thought he had gone to sleep, but apparently not. “It was this special seaweed lotion that she loved. And after she died we still had a bunch of it. My sister took a lot of it of course, but my dad started using it too. He still puts it on every morning. He’s the company’s best customer.”

“What a good way to keep loving her.”

Sokka seemed content with that, trying to snuggle in closer to Zuko as a yawn escaped his lips. Zuko sighed in turn, happy to fall asleep in Sokka’s warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an ACCIDENT. You can only read so many Zukka fics before you have to write one yourself. I guess I never got around to them revealing their relationship to Hakoda. Maybe I’ll make another chapter one day, but for now it looks like this is where the story is staying. Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kind of just word-vomited this chapter. I was a little surprised that this story made me keep writing it. But anyway, here you go! I hope it’s not too awful.

Zuko groaned when he woke, tense from the cold. He reached out, trying to find a bit of Sokka to hold onto. When his hands came up empty he finally decided to open his eyes. The room was Sokka-less, but as he sat up he started registering voices coming from the main living area. Zuko ran his fingers through his hair, willing away bedhead, before stepping carefully into the main room.

The family was sitting back around the fire again, though looking much more worn than they had last night. There were unfamiliar bags under Hakoda’s eyes, and Katara’s look slightly red, though somewhat better with Aang now sitting by her side. Something was keeping warm over the fire, but their bowls were all empty, scraped clean.

“Zuko! You’re up!” Aang said, running over to hug him. He had started being much less reserved (not that he had had that much reserve before) with Zuko once he discovered that he was technically his great grandfather.

“Yes... I... you could have woken me,” Zuko said, mostly to Sokka as he took a seat beside him.

“You never get to sleep in,” Sokka said with a shrug.

“Being the Fire Lord must be hard work,” Bato said. He sounded more on edge than the day before, perhaps from trying so hard to make sure Hakoda was ok. He looked a bit drained.

“It’s easier now. I sort of know what I’m doing, and I have good people advising me.

“Plus when the Avatar is doing great at their job, it makes everyone else’s lives easier,” Aang said proudly. Zuko suspected that he was also still hoping to garner some more favor with Hakoda, though Zuko wasn’t so sure of his outright methods.

“That too,” Zuko conceded. Even if Aang was a little helpless, it was better to work together.

Things got quiet after that. Without the outsiders—Zuko, Aang, and Bato—talking, the other three just stared into the fire. Zuko had hoped that he had made Sokka feel a little better, but apparently these things took more than just a good night’s rest.

“...Do you want some sea prunes Zuko?” Hakoda asked. Zuko was about to say yes, despite himself, when Sokka intervened.

“Zuko hates sea prunes. I’ll just take him into the market to see if there’s anything he can eat.”

Zuko wanted to stay and insist that sea prunes were fine and that he really wasn’t that picky, but Sokka was already standing. He tried to look apologetic as he stood, afraid Sokka was only making his father’s opinion worse.

“We’ll join you,” Katara said, before Zuko could even try to say goodbye to Hakoda with any amount of respectability. Hakoda just nodded, and the four kids left the igloo in a bit of a huff.

Once safely out of earshot of the igloo, Sokka glared at his sister.

“This was supposed to be a date Katara. I don’t want chaperones while showing my boyfriend where I grew up.”

“Oh who are you kidding Sokka? You’re just trying to leave me alone with _dad_.”

“I am not!” Sokka said, a bit too defensively, “I’m not... I’m not mad at him anymore”

“You didn’t talk to him all morning,” Aang pointed out, and Sokka glared.

“Whatever,” Sokka answered, “Just leave me and Zuko alone for a while, ok?”

Sokka grabbed Zuko’s hand, pulling him towards the market. Zuko was blushing, and about to protest, but Sokka dropped his hand just before they made their way onto the busy street. It made Zuko a little sad to not have Sokka keeping his grip, but also a little happy that Sokka was careful with Zuko. He never had to be worried that Sokka would want more than Zuko could give.

“Are you really feeling better?” Zuko asked, not quite convinced as they moved through the blue tarped stalls of the market. Zuko wasn’t looking at anything, instead focused on gauging the emotions on Sokka’s face.

“Yes,” Sokka said steadily, “Not normal, but better.”

“Good. I was worrie—“

“Yue was the princess of the Northern Water Tribe. Did you know that?” Sokka had stopped in the middle of the street, turning to look at Zuko square in the face. He seemed unconcerned with the traffic of people around them, despite their frustration at the obstacle in their path.

“Yue?” Zuko asked, clueless.

“My girlfriend that turned into the moon. She wasn’t even my girlfriend really. It just... it occurred to me last night how stupid it is not to talk about the people you love. I got your point, about how people deal with loss and stuff, but it just... it seems so stupid that I wouldn’t tell you about her. I tell her about you all the time.”

Zuko had caught Sokka sitting on balconies, staring at the moon and mumbling to himself before. Zuko never tried to listen, always trying to give Sokka the time he needed, never wanting to intrude. As extroverted as Sokka was, he clearly needed his alone time in order to function, even if that alone time was spent with his favorite spirit.

“You don’t have to tell me anything Sokka,” Zuko said calmly, putting a hand on Sokka’s shoulder. With any sort of displays of affection, he tried to use the Rule Of Aang, which was generally that any touch that he would feel comfortable doing to Aang, he could do to Sokka in public.

“I want to... I didn’t get to talk about any of this while the war was going on. Right after the siege at the North Pole we started traveling again. I just had to... carry on. Pretend things were normal. I should talk about things. Talk about her. She deserves it.”

Zuko nodded, allowing Sokka to tell him all about Yue as they continued their walk down the busy street. Sokka had always been expressive, but Zuko had begun noticing as far back as the boiling rock that there were things he chose to lock away instead. The fact that Sokka felt comfortable enough to bring up these things with him made Zuko feel a little warmer.

“She sounds incredibly brave,” Zuko said as they pretended to peruse a stall of carved trinkets. They were nice, but Zuko much preferred the ones that Sokka made, however difficult it was to tell what they were.

“She was,” Sokka said, and he was smiling. It wasn’t the smile Sokka put on to show people that he was happy, but rather the accidental one that Zuko always considered himself lucky to see.

“It seems you have a type too,” Zuko continues, teasingly, “Royals with intense feelings of duty and great hair.”

“Oh shut up,” Sokka said, bumping against Zuko. He was still smiling though. “I’m a chief’s son. I’m _practically_ royalty too.”

Zuko laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Sure you are.”

They went a little longer and got noodles for Zuko before turning back. A few people stopped to chat with Sokka for a moment, but Zuko suspected that most of them hadn’t lived here long enough to know Sokka, and certainly not long enough to approach him when he was out with the Fire Lord. Most people seemed a little bit nervous by their duo. Zuko had a pretty unmistakable face, so people knew he was the Fire Lord instantaneously. Seeing him walking around the market in a navy anorak with a water tribe guy must have come as a bit of an unsettling shock to them, judging by the distance they kept.

“Zuko...” Sokka said slowly when they were off the busy street, headed back towards the igloo.

“Sokka,” Zuko answered.

“I meant it when I said that I want to talk about people I love. I want... I want to tell people I love you.”

“Sokka...” Generally Sokka’s logic-centered brain meant Zuko didn’t have to overly explain these things to him. Zuko supposed he had brought this on himself, with all his talk on the importance of love, but he really didn’t want to have to deal with thinking through all this, channeling it into polite and loving words. He hated himself when his mind brought up all the reasons that he shouldn’t be with Sokka. He didn’t want Sokka to hate him for them too.

“I don’t mean right now. I just mean... That I love you. And I think maybe it’s time we entertain the possibility of... of making this relationship permanent.” Sokka wasn’t looking at Zuko. For once in their relationship it was Sokka’s turn to be the nervous one. He was shuffling his feet, digging a little trench in the snow. Zuko felt like all his breath was leaving his body a little too quickly.

“You want to get _married_?”

Sokka shrugged, still not looking at him. “I want to hold your hand in public. Dammit, I want to _kiss_ you in public. If we have to be engaged or married or whatever for that to happen then... well I think we should consider it.”

Zuko had considered it, of course, at least once a week. He had mapped out every option of what to say to convince the Fire Nation that Sokka was the perfect fit to be by his side. There were at least three different options on how the wedding party could be set up so as not to look like this match would favor the Water Tribes over the Earth Kingdom. Zuko regularly had nightmares about a lack of an heir leading to Azula getting the throne. He had been over all of these possibilities dozens of times.

“Sokka... I have been considering it for months and—“

“And you don’t want to marry me.”

“No, idiot,” Zuko said, glancing around before taking Sokka’s hand, “I just have to work through all the... complications.”

“We can do that together though.”

Zuko sighed. He didn’t want to discourage Sokka and definitely didn’t want Sokka to think that he didn’t love him, but this wasn’t something he wanted Sokka to be involved in either. Zuko didn’t want Sokka to have to address all the awful things that would be said about him when their relationship was announced. He didn’t want Sokka to hear him turning their relationship into a political move to soothe angry officials. Zuko wanted to be able to pretend, at least in front of Sokka, that his choice of who to love wasn’t an entire country’s business.

“Let’s just work on telling your father and Bato first,” Zuko suggested, hoping that would appease Sokka.

Sokka shrugged again, continuing the walk back to the igloo. He put a little more distance between them than usual, and it made Zuko feel cold.

Back inside, Hakoda was sitting at a desk in the corner of the room, eyes squinted and back hunched as he read over the scrolls. Just the idea of paperwork made Zuko feel the beginnings of a headache. Bato was sitting on the floor close by with scrolls of his own, though it seemed to Zuko that he was paying more attention to Hakoda than to his readings.

“We’re home,” Sokka said, plopping down by the fire. Hakoda looked up, perhaps a bit surprised to see them after being so concentrated in his work.

“Did you lose a couple of people?” Hakoda asked.

“Yeah, it turns out Katara and Aang wanted _alone_ time,” Sokka lied.

“You’d think they’d have enough of that from traveling around together,” Bato said.

“Oh you never get alone time when you travel with the Avatar,” Sokka replies, “People are always bugging him for help, or angry teens with ponytails are attacking. Traveling with the Aang takes twice as long as traveling normally, even with Appa, and you get half as much sleep.”

“That’s almost how it is with Hakoda too. He’s always busy these days.”

“Yeah, Zuko too,” Sokka said nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just grouped his relationship with Zuko in with couples.

“I was thinking, actually, that maybe when the others get back we could take Zuko ice dodging,” Bato said, “You’ve never been, right?”

“No,” said Zuko nervously. This seemed eerily similar to the times that Aang had tricked him into playing games that no one had heard of, and that were clearly made for air benders only. Zuko imagined Bato and Hakoda pelting him with sharp icicles, and having to scramble out of the way.

“Does the Fire Lord even know how to sail?” Hakoda asked. His tone sounded even to Zuko, but it put Sokka on the defensive anyway.

“Zuko was captain of a ship for three years. I’m sure he can manage,” Sokka said.

“Um, actually that was a steam ship so—“ Zuko tried to say, his voice quiet. He wondered if it would be more embarrassing to admit he wasn’t experienced in sailing, or to fail miserably at whatever this ice dodging was.

“Well then it’s settled,” Bato said, cutting him off, “When the others get back we’ll go ice dodging.”

***

Sokka brought Zuko out to the docks before everyone else, familiarizing him with the workings of Southern Water Tribe vessels. Zuko was used to ships whose main source of steering was a wheel. This crash course in sailing had his brain jumbled.

“I don’t think I can do this,” said Zuko, still trying to figure out why one would need a mainsail and a jib.

“You’ll be fine. When I did it I had Katara and Aang working with me, and neither of them had sailed before.”

“You didn’t do this before then?” asked Zuko. Before they had left Hakoda had made it seem like ice dodging was usually something boys did as a rite of passage.

“No... Dad left before I was old enough. I actually ended up going with Bato when we were in the Earth Kingdom. This will be my first time actually ice dodging.”

“Then why don’t you do it? You can finally go with your dad,” Zuko said. He might have just been using it as an excuse to get out of it, but it seemed like a good one.

“Because if you do it then my dad might finally like you,” Sokka said, “He might even stop calling you Fire Lord all the time.”

“You’re forgetting that there’s a good chance I’ll crash and we’ll all die.”

“Plenty of people crash, it’s fine. If you do then dad will think it’s funny. He just needs to see you as a real person.”

Sokka was clearly decided on this, so Zuko went back to trying to understand the ship. Zuko had to believe that when it came to Hakoda, Sokka knew what was best.

The ship was a little crowded with all of them on it, plus Lieutenant Jee, who was now one of Zuko’s guards, and who had insisted on coming along. He seemed skeptical, and for a moment Zuko thought he might outright refuse to let Zuko go. Bato, however, had a way of explaining things to suit Jee, as long as he was allowed to come along. Now, not only was Zuko going to fail in front of Sokka’s dad, but he was also going to fail in front of one of his trusted guards who would certainly give him hell for it later.

Hakoda sailed them off, away from the main village and towards a narrow pathway between two large icebergs. Zuko watched carefully, trying to get a feel on how the ship actually worked. It seemed like second nature to Hakoda, like it was almost as easy as walking. Hakoda gave off the same aura of overwhelming competency that Sokka did. He was convinced you could give them any task and they would find a way to perform it as if they had the ability their whole lives. Zuko remembered the first time he had sparred with Sokka and his beloved space sword. All that had gone through Zuko’s head was _You should not be this good_. Zuko had been training with his double swords for years and still his fights with Sokka left him out of breath. Looking back, Zuko could tell attraction was already forming in those moments, but they had been too busy with the war for him to be focused on his feelings.

“Ice dodging,” Hakoda explained, “Is an important ritual for young people of the Southern Water Tribe. It is a test of their wisdom, bravery, and trust as they go out, protecting and representing our tribe. You’ll have Katara handling the mainsail for you, and Sokka will take the jib. The rest of us are mere observers, and cannot help you. Do you understand?”

“Uh... sure.” Zuko said.

It seemed that the path got progressively more difficult, and in the first section where there were very few icebergs, Zuko was able to get a grasp on how the ship worked. As they got farther in, he could hear his voice change to that gravelly determined shout that reminded him of his younger self, calling orders to Lieutenant Jee and his helmsman. It was tricky, but he didn’t seem to be doing to bad. He risked a glance behind him and Sokka was smiling, proud.

Just when he thought he might be able to manage, however, the tip of the boat skimmed an iceberg, spiraling until the ship was facing backwards before wedging itself between the two large pillars of ice that Zuko had been attempting to avoid.

“Um...” Zuko said, panicked. He glanced around, hoping for a way out of it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hakoda starting to stand, clearly disappointed, but not looking at all surprised.

Zuko wouldn’t lose though. Not when he knew it was important to Sokka.

He turned sharply, waving Sokka out of the way as he leaped in the air, hitting the icy pillars with hot fire and landing on the edge railing of the ship. He blasted a few more times from his wide-stanced perch until it melted down enough to let them pass. When he got down and looked back, he could see Jee snickering. Hakoda did not seem so pleased, and Bato frankly looked a little stunned.

“I guess let’s get this thing turned around now...” Zuko said with much less bravado than he had been able to muster previously. He guided Sokka and Katara into spinning the ship, and got through the small portion that was left, before guiding the ship back to shore.

Sokka pat him on the back gently and smiled, though it wasn’t quite convincing. He seemed to be paying more attention to his father than to Zuko anyhow, but he still spared a moment to look in Zuko’s eyes and say in a low tone, “I thought you did marvelous.”

Zuko smiled, thankful for the praise, though unconvinced. “I’ll just leave the sailing to you from now on.”

Hakoda sighed, and Zuko turned to face him. “While you technically made it through, I wouldn’t say you passed.”

“Hakoda, said Bato softly, “It was just for fun. There’s no need to go so hard on him.”

“It’s an important part of our culture, you can’t just use bending to make it through and we tell you that’s fine. There’s no integrity—“

“I used bending when I went,” Sokka said, “But you wouldn’t remember that, because, oh right, you never took me.”

“Sokka...” Zuko said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sokka shrugged it off. He looked angry, and Zuko was stuck in the limbo between him and his father, unable to help.

“I was trying to protect you, Sokka, you know that.” Hakoda’s voice was stern.

“Well you didn’t do a very good job of it,” Sokka said, turning on his heel and walking away. Katara rushed after him just as Hakoda turned in the opposite direction. Bato had to jog to catch up with Hakoda with the speed of his anger.

Aang made some excuse about brushing Appa before bouncing away in the awkwardness, leaving Zuko alone with his old friend Lieutenant Jee. Zuko shivered slightly before beginning the walk back to the igloo.

Normally, Jee would disappear, his immediate presence no longer necessary without the dangers of icebergs. However, at this moment he chose to continue walking by Zuko’s side.

“Is everything ok Fire Lord Zuko?” he asked tentatively. Jee knew Zuko well enough to know that he didn’t like people seeing through his cracks. Sometimes, however, Jee thought it might be too important not to say anything.

“Yes,” said Zuko tentatively, “I just... Jee, how do you feel about Sokka?”

“I like him very much sir, though I admit that I would probably tell you that whether I liked him or not.”

“Ok...Well then how do the other guards like him?”

“They all think he is very funny, and rather... creatively intelligent.”

“Please be honest with me here Jee,” Zuko said, looking him in the eye, “Do you think Sokka is the best person to serve the Fire Nation at my right hand?”

Jee paused, taking a breath. “I cannot forget that he’s not from the Fire Nation, and therefore must have other loyalties, however, after his travels with the Avatar I think those loyalties might have stopped being the Water Tribe, and are rather the entire world, which, I’ll say, does not go against the values of the Fire Nation right now. And, more importantly, when Sokka decided to stay in the Fire Nation, you became a more confident Fire Lord. ...And he makes you happy.”

“I think so too,” Zuko said, “I can’t imagine there ever being someone better to take his place. I just don’t know how to convince the people that don’t know him.”

“It will be tough,” Jee admitted, “The people have been having to change what they’ve been taught to think very quickly. But if you can earn Hakoda’s trust, then I’m sure Sokka will be more than capable of winning the trust of the Fire Nation.”

***

Zuko’s waited for Sokka back in their room, reading over scrolls that Sokka had forbid him from taking on their vacation. When Sokka entered about an hour later, he sighed, sitting down beside Zuko, taking the scroll from him and rolling it up.

“Quit working,” he said, putting the scroll aside before shuffling behind Zuko and wrapping his arms around him, locking his chin onto Zuko’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I made a scene out of you.”

“It’s ok,” Zuko said, turning his head so he could kiss Sokka’s cheek, “Are you feeling better?”

“A little,” Sokka replied, “I guess I was just... I thought maybe last night dad had started to like you, so I didn’t understand why he was being so... grumpy.”

“Maybe he was grumpy because he had to take me ice dodging instead of you,” Zuko suggested.

“Yeah, that’s what Katara said. Or like, he may like you fine, but he still has isolationist views from fighting in the war, so maybe he didn’t like the idea of an outsider having honorary membership in our tribe. There’s lots of possible reasons I guess.”

“I like the first option better.”

“Me too,” Sokka said, letting go of Zuko so that he could undo his topknot. Once Zuko’s hair was free, Sokka carted his fingers through it, detangling it before beginning a tight braid near Zuko’s forehead. Zuko didn’t even realize how tense he had been until he was relaxing into Sokka’s fingers. “My new strategy,” Sokka continued, “Is that I let you just be yourself. You’re great. He’ll come around.”

“Do we have a back up plan?”

“We don’t need one.”

***

At some point they heard Hakoda and Bato get back, but Sokka and Zuko chose to stay huddled together in the room a little longer, Zuko leaning against Sokka as they both read over the scroll that Sokka had given up on trying to keep from his boyfriend. If Zuko had gone too long without getting any work done, he would have just felt anxious, which ruins the point of vacation after all.

The snow walls of the house were sturdy, but not sound proof, and when a new voice arrived, Zuko and Sokka got to hear it all.

“Chief Yuka, what brings you here?” they heard Hakoda say. Sokka whispered that Yuka was the chief several villages down.

“I was just in the neighborhood on business,” Yuka answered, “And I heard you had _visitors_.” The word sounded slimey coming out of his mouth, as if it had spontaneously filled with phlegm. Zuko felt Sokka tense around him, arms wrapping just a little tighter.

“My children and their friends are resting right now,” Hakoda said, sounding calm, “They all had long journeys. I can tell them you stopped by.”

“I trust you’re using your son’s time here to whip some sense into him. Some excuses can be made for his youth, but to see him continue living as a traitor to the Souther—“

“My son, I hope you realize, is the reason your village has any economy at all. You’re forgetting that he was the first member of our tribe to gain favor with the North in years. You forget that if he had not fought in the battle against Ozai, that the entirety of our people could be destroyed. And you forget that the trade routes that he has helped to reestablish since the transformation of the Fire Nation are what is providing your people with a greater quality of life. He could stop his work now and he still would have done more for our tribe than you ever will.”

“And let’s hope he does stop,” Yuka replied, unaffected, “I have a letter for the Fire Lord and his... plaything. I trust you’ll give it to them.”

And then there was footsteps, followed by a large huff, presumably from Hakoda, and a crumpling of paper.

Sokka peeled himself away from Zuko, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead before walking out into the main room. His absence was tangible after being pressed tightly against Zuko for so long. The Fire Lord tried not to listen in on Sokka’s conversation with his father, but the walls and his curiosity didn’t allow his politeness.

“Sorry about earlier today,” Sokka started, “You didn’t deserve that.”

“I’m sorry too,” Hakoda answered, “I... I’m sure you heard Chief Yuka... He’s an asshole. I don’t want you to think that I agree with any of his sentiments, but I do miss you very much and... Sokka, I remember a time when me and Katara and your Mother were the only things that could make you really happy. Seeing something else—seeing another person—able to do that... Well it made me realize that I couldn’t be enough for you anymore. I’m sorry I was so upset.”

It broke Zuko’s heart. It made him feel like he was on the wrong side again. He suddenly thought of himself as a thief.

“Dad, you are enough for me,” Sokka said earnestly, “If I lost everything except you, I would still be able to find happiness. And Katara is enough for me too, like if I lost you, and Aang, and Zuko, but I still had Katara, she would be enough. And the same goes for Zuko. I am lucky that in this life I was given, I have gotten to have more than enough joy. Isn’t it the same with you and Bato? Me and Katara were enough for you, right? But that doesn’t mean you don’t want someone else to need.”

“Sokka,” Hakoda said, and Zuko swore he could hear the affection in his voice, “I don’t know how you got to be so smart. I’m incredibly proud to be your father.”

It was silent after that. Zuko assumed that they were hugging. Sokkaless, Zuko leaned back and hugged his pillow instead, thinking about being enough. Before Sokka, he wasn’t sure he had ever been that for anyone. Perhaps his Uncle, but he didn’t want to believe it. If he had been that for Iroh, then his absence and betrayal would have been felt even worse—the third loss of Iroh’s “enoughs”. Zuko would have to believe that he had been almost enough for Iroh, but there had to be some room left in there for tea and wisdoms exchanged for strangers.

He wondered too if Sokka felt his own enough-ness, or even if he was. Could he be happy without his Uncle? Or without caring for his people? And the answer was, Zuko realized, yes. Zuko had had neither of those things when he first bonded with Sokka, feeling happy just to be living under the same sun and on the same side as him. Even before Zuko knew it was love, he could tell that his bond to Sokka was powerful. It was important. And it was certainly enough.

“Dad,” Sokka said, “Can we, uh, start over with Zuko? Can I just re-introduce him to you and we try to be better?”

“I would like that.”

Sokka returned to the room, smiling at Zuko with the smile that made him want to melt into the floor. Sokka, he realized, might be more than enough all on his own.

“Come meet my dad,” Sokka said, pulling Zuko up. They walked together back into the room, Sokka not letting go of his hand until he began the newly formal introduction. “Zuko, this is my dad, Hakoda. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Zuko.”

Hakoda blinked a few times more than necessary, but managed to hide any surprise rather well. “It’s good to meet you Zuko.”

“And you. Though you look kind of familiar. Were you ever in prison?”

Hakoda laughed, and Sokka too.

“I’m not sure that’s something you’re meant to ask your significant other’s father.”

“My mistake,” Zuko said, smiling.

***

At dinner that night, Zuko and Sokka got to bump shoulders and feed each other bits of their food without fear of suspicion. Of course, a few of their overt signs of affection annoyed the rest of the dinner party, but the couple was just happy to get to be themselves.

When the bowls had been emptied, and a soft lull had fallen over the conversation, Bato turned to them. “Tell is your story,” he said, “Tell us how you fell in love.”

They had never gotten to tell it before—not properly at least. Their friends had witnessed it for the most part, and didn’t need excessive details. Getting to tell it that night, however, was a memory that Zuko wanted to keep hold of forever. He was both surprised by some of Sokka’s point of view, but also felt like, as they bounced off each other, that their two voices melded into one. It was as if the story allowed them to be whole things that remained halves of each other. Not useless apart, but unique and special together.

“I realized I was attracted to Zuko a long time ago. He had probably only been in the gang for a few weeks when my brain revealed how beautiful and awkwardly charming he was. But, of course, there was a war going on and I was sort of seeing Suki still, so I generally ignored it. It was just a little crush anyway.”

“I was just oblivious about both of our feelings.”

“As you tend to be. Anyway, so we finish the battles on the day of the comet. I feel both high off adrenaline and ridiculously exhausted, and that’s when I found out that Zuko had risked his life to save Katara—“

“Now, of course, Katara had risked her life for me as well.”

“But you’re the one who got struck by lightning. When I first saw you after that you were sleeping still, and I remember pacing the day away. I couldn’t sit still. I kept thinking that if we had lost you, it would have meant we lost the whole thing. With that thought I realized that my crush was too large, that I couldn’t ignore it, so, naturally, I went back to the South Pole to throw myself into the work of rebuilding our tribe.”

“Meanwhile I was trying to figure out how to be Firelord and what I could do without the help of my friends. Before I switched sides I was inherently lonely, and after I didn’t really know how to function without having others to run ideas by or argue with me or encourage me. “

“When I visited the Firenation, I noticed two things immediately. The first was that Zuko’s hair had gotten longer, and the second was that he needed someone. The realization that I would be that someone didn’t come until the night before I was supposed to leave, when I realized I couldn’t sleep knowing Zuko was fumbling.”

“Things immediately started to clear up for me. It helped to have Sokka as an advisor of course, but also he was the first person to remind me to eat. I hadn’t realized how much I was skipping meals until he was counting them out for me.”

“Plus I just liked eating with him.”

“That too. It was about six months into his being there when I realized I was in love with him. I want to say I was interested in him, or attracted to him, but the truth is that it was already love by the time I noticed.”

“I never get tired of hearing how much you love me”

“Well I do love you. And I realized this the first time I got information on my mother. She’s lost, and we’re working on finding her. When we got our first lead my heart was overwhelmed with love and hope and fear. I found myself walking to Sokka’s room, and I was surprised.”

“At this point I was staying in an entirely different part of the palace. It’s a bit of a hike from his room to my former one. Zuko was very dedicated.”

“Yeah, because it had just hit me at that moment. I wanted to tell you about my happy and scary news about my mother. I didn’t want to tell Iroh, or write a letter about it to Katara, who had heard me talk about my mother countless times. I wanted to tell you, because you were the person who I most would want to tell my mom about. I was always so impressed by how you spoke I meeting, by your critical mind and ingenuity, and by how utterly kind you are. And I loved you.”

“Yeah, so uh being the oblivious idiots that we are, still took months to figure out that we both liked each other. Neither of us wanted to screw anything up, so we danced around each other, both overly cautious of making things weird or difficult. But then there was this dinner party.”

“I, naturally, hate dinner parties.”

“Right, well I love them, and this one was no exception.”

“For me it was the only exception.”

“So during this party Iroh managed to convince Zuko to play the tsungi horn, so I’m standing there trying to just listen to him and not have a crush on him. And then I just started tearing up. Zuko playing was so incredibly beautiful, and the sound made me sad and joyful at the same time. It was the sort of song that could only be improved through the addition of chirping cricket frogs, or the crunching of steps on fallen leaves.

“I, of course, was very stressed and still don’t believe Sokka that I was playing as well as I did.”

“But you were. So that night after the party I had to stealthily follow Zuko back to his room, because the palace was huge and I still got lost whenever I tried to go somewhere that wasn’t on my daily route.”

“He wasn’t that stealthy of course, so I was convinced the entire walk back that someone was going to try and assassinate me again.”

“Which is why when I knocked he answered while holding a flame up to potentially kill me.”

“To potentially kill an unknown assassin.”

“Right. So I didn’t even wait for him to lower his fire. I just stammered out my little confession.”

“He told me that he was like a river, and that he had attempted to control the rivers course, building dams and such, but that that night it must have rained down affection because the water was too high, and he could no longer deny its original path. And he said he didn’t want to. He said I was surprisingly clever and surprisingly funny and surprisingly thoughtful. He told me that it should have stopped surprising him by now, but it never did because he was constantly being amazed by me. I was generally not accustomed to such compliments. Or to any compliments.”

“Yeah, Zuko had me come sit in a chair in his room, and he kept pacing. He would almost say things, and then decide against it. He was blushing, and there was fire dancing at his finger tips. I thought, of course, he was looking for a nice way to tell me that my feelings were one sided, and that he’d need me to leave the Fire Nation. And this wasn’t just a few minutes of me sitting there horrified. It was probably about a half an hour.”

“I was very taken aback by his confession.”

“Right, I suppose it would have seemed out of nowhere to you. So in the end he just said, his voice very steady and his face very pink, ‘I like you a lot, and I want us to be together.’”

“And so we have been ever since.”

Sokka placed his head on Zuko’s shoulder, and Zuko put his arm around him, reaching up to stroke the prickly shaven sides of his forehead. Zuko wanted this—Sokka, friends, a good meal, telling stories—forever.

“And we will be for a while longer.”


End file.
